The Challenge of Discussing Financial Plans with Your Aging Loved Ones
Your parents – or other aging loved ones – are over 70 and you are genuinely concerned whether they have a plan for their later years and for their estate. However, they may resent a direct question about their plans. This article will explain why and how to best approach them.
The Challenge
It is difficult to bring up the subject of money with those close to you. For one thing, few people feel they have enough money, so it can be embarrassing to discuss. Those with “plenty of money” often don’t want to describe their wealth, fearing it will change their relationship with their loved ones.
Adult children feel awkward asking about money because they do not want to appear nosy, or worse, greedy. The fact is, people don’t need to know everything about their elder folks’ (or for that matter their children’s, friend in need’s, brother’s or sister’s) financial situation. However, if they are concerned and want or need to be helpful, the topic of money should be “fair game” for many reasons.
Adult children should make an attempt to know that their parents or other aging loved ones are “okay” when it comes to their estate, financial and wellness plans. They want to see to it that their parents have been able to set up a plan that gives them control now, while avoiding unnecessary mistakes and pitfalls, like taxes and probateProbate can refer to the process of settling the estate of a deceased person. Read More in their estate, in the future.
The best tactic: Be cautious. Try not to pry too deeply too fast. You want to respect confidentiality and gain their trust. Ask questions on the financial side that demonstrate concern and show your desire to know what’s going on and to be helpful is out of love. Do this in whatever way is appropriate under the circumstances.
While parents (or other aging loved ones) are competent and in control, this is a matter of being prepared for the future. When folks are slipping in their competence or actually become incapacitated, a more proactive approach is needed. However, families (friends, etc), who allow others to participate in their financial, legal, and wellness matters well before they can’t keep up with it themselves, are truly better off in their last years and in the settling of their estate.
When older or ill clients come to me, I suggest they select someone to be their Family Financial Assistant or Helper. This Assistant has no power or authority of any kind; this would be a guide to help them through the process. However, assigning someone to have power of attorney should be part of the plan for when older individuals are unable to make financial and legal decisions for themselves.
What you need to communicate throughout is that you don’t care how much they have left when they die, you want to make sure they have enough to live on now and in the future. Surveys show that retirees are worried about their financial future, so you want to see how you can help them gain confidence in facing that future.
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Learn more about broaching the topic of estate planning with the seniors in your life here.
