Appointing a family member as a trustee is often seen as a reward for age, ability, leadership, or even good behavior within the family. However, given the amount of work involved and the stress of dealing with family members, and the multiple financial, tax, and legal issues, it is hardly what one would call a prized position. Experience has also shown that the child or relative who covets the position of trustee, may also be hungry for power and influence in such a way that may cause, rather than relieve, family conflict, which is something else to consider.

Rather than assuming that a family member wants this position, it may be better to be sure, first, that the kind of work, responsibility, and potential liability involved is understood. The buck stops with the trustee as far as making decisions on priorities, the liquidation of assets, establishing deadlines for family involvement such as cleaning out a home, and the making of discretionary distributions of money and property. How these tasks are handled can make or break the trustee’s family relationships.

Trying to please everyone should not be the goal of the trustee, but sometimes making hard decisions can sour relationships for a long time to come, even if they’re made after deliberation and advice, and in accordance with “mom and dad’s wishes.” Nominating a professional as trustee can alleviate the problems associated with mixing business and relationships within the family.

Sometimes family members are too busy – preoccupied with their own lives, and occasionally they are simply incapable of the multitasking necessary to be a successful trustee.

Our test of whether family members should be chosen includes life experience and trustworthiness to be sure – we cannot assume these qualities for anyone. For the long haul, other characteristics also play a huge role: diligence to complete tasks, ability to communicate effectively with other family members, patience for following trust rules, dealing with lawyers and accountants, attending promptly with deadlines, and seeing a project through to the end with a complete accounting of activity.

You have to ask yourself, “Does my son, daughter, etc. possess all these qualities?” Identify one and then ask, “Do they have the time?” Families may be lucky to have multiple members who have many of these characteristics. What the family members may lack is time. Our office has the time that very often is missing from the lives of otherwise capable individuals. After decades of trust and estate administration, we can offer the expertise and dedicated time you are looking for.

While trustees can be chosen to work together from each family, most of the time mom and dad perceive one person from one side of the family as an obvious choice. The choice is “obvious” to them, but not necessarily to the heirs on each side. In many cases,  it may be difficult for this person to remain balanced and impartial. Therefore, choosing an individual who is independent and professional can make the difference between a successful and harmonious transfer and one that is uncomfortable or even acrimonious.

Given that there are deadlines for the filing of taxes, providing accounts to beneficiaries, and court filings in some cases, as well as liability for decisions on when to liquidate investments that may be volatile and similarly loaded judgments, it is little wonder that trustees are sued for their breach of fiduciary duty.

Arguably, family members who are not trained professionals are held to a lower standard and therefore may have less potential for damage awards against them. If a family trustee is liable, chances are he or she does not have “errors and omissions insurance” to cover their liability. If they are successful in defending a lawsuit, then they can expect the trust to pay for the attorney’s fees involved, but otherwise, they may be on the hook to pay their own way, which can be very costly. Having your family member trustees held to a lower standard should not necessarily give you peace of mind.

Presumably, you want your trustees to be held to a high standard of conduct. As professional trustees ourselves, we hold ourselves to the highest standards for the many responsibilities involved with settling an estate.

While such professionals should have many of the skills required, unless they have extensive experience, they will be learning on the job. It is wrong to think that just because one has a Juris Doctor degree or is a Certified Public Accountant, he or she has the requisite skills to complete a trust administration professionally.

In our office, we did not seek out trustee appointments until after nearly three decades of experience in the field. Our expectation is that senior attorneys will remain involved in the administration of trusts and estates while training others to take on more and more responsibility, producing experience and reliability to complete estate and trust administrations that are multiplying weekly.

Sometimes, being put in the position of having to say “no” to a beneficiary in response to a request is too much to ask of our family members when it comes to administering a trust for their siblings, nieces and nephews, and so on. As professionals, we can be objective, and still find satisfaction in carrying out our clients’ wishes, difficult as it may be at times. Beneficiaries with special needs and handicaps are a niche for us as well.

In this position, we conscientiously and efficiently take on the administration of the estate immediately after death, usually for a fixed fee. We process the creation of trust shares, tax filings, distributions, liquidations, and accounting necessary to complete the settlement of the estate on behalf of the family. This form of administration is temporary and is performed in preparation for a final distribution of money and assets to individuals or to trustees who will carry on the permanent job of looking after the beneficiary’s interests.

Sometimes those permanent trustees are the beneficiaries themselves, acting as their own trustee. However, we also can add value in protecting the trusts and partnering with heirs over the long haul.